Reddit member justamemory wrote:
Twas the night before Early Access, when all through the moghouse
Many a Miqo'te was purring, but don't tell my spouse.
The registrations were foiling by the emails with scare,
Yet with hope, Early Access soon would be there.
The gamers were nestled all psyched in their beds,
While visions of mustached lalafels danced in their heads.
And Kan-E-Senna in her robe, and I in my mogcap,
Had just settled our plans for a long summer's fap.
When out in La Noscea there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the Mist to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and secured the pre-game stash.
Dalamud on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to all noobs below.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature airship, and 30 days free cheer.
With a sturdy old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it had to be Cid.
More rapid than chocobos his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name!
"Now Reddit! now, ZAM! now, BlueGartr and GameFAQ!
On, NeoGAF! On, MMORPG.com! on KillingIfrit, and Neoseeker!
To the top of google search!
Now type away! type away! type away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild meteor fly,
When they meet with Van Darnus, mount to the sky.
So up to Bahamut's Lair the chocobos they flew,
With the airship full of fanbois, and Cid Garlond too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The raging and one-shotting of each little noob.
As I drew in my sheathe, and was turning around,
Down the chasm Cid came with a bound.
He was dressed all in tech, from his head to his foot,
And his goggles were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of CE items he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a boss, just opening his pack.
His eyes-how they twinkled! his promise how daring!
His coming was like moses, though his smile was a little scary!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow.
The snark of a smirk he held tight in his teeth,
His goggles encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a magitek heli,
It shook the ground as he yelled, "don't be jelly!"
He was bubbly and pumped, a right jolly old Hyur,
And I laughed when I saw him, giddy as DERP!
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the moghouses, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up Eorzea he rose!
He sprang to his airship, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like dodos pricked by a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, ‘ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Early Access to all, and to all a good-night!"